The Definitive Guide to Explaining What You Do to Your Family

The Definitive Guide to Explaining What You Do to Your Family

Ah, the family gathering. A time of food, laughter, and the inevitable moment when someone asks, “So, what exactly do you do again?” As your aunt’s eyes glaze over at the mere mention of “JavaScript frameworks,” you realize you need a better approach.

Here’s your field guide to explaining web development to every relative at your family reunion, complete with analogies they might actually understand.

For the Technically Challenged Elderly Relative

Don’t say: “I’m a full-stack developer working primarily with React on the frontend and Node.js microservices on the backend.”

Do say: “Remember when we helped you set up your Facebook account? I make things like Facebook. Not Facebook itself—I don’t work for Mark Zuckerberg—but similar things that you can use on your computer or phone.”

Fallback analogy: “I’m basically a digital plumber. When you turn on a faucet and water comes out, you don’t think about the complex system of pipes behind your walls. I build those pipes, but for information instead of water.”

For the Business-Minded Uncle

Don’t say: “I implement responsive UIs based on Figma designs while ensuring cross-browser compatibility.”

Do say: “I help businesses make more money by making sure their customers can buy things easily online. The easier I make it to click ‘buy,’ the more money they make.”

Fallback analogy: “You know how you won’t enter a store if the windows are dirty and the door is hard to open? I’m the guy who keeps the digital storefront clean, well-lit, and easy to navigate. First impressions in the digital world translate directly to revenue.”

For the Liberal Arts Cousin

Don’t say: “I debug runtime errors in production environments and optimize database queries.”

Do say: “I’m basically a translator between human needs and computer capabilities. It’s like poetry, but with more semicolons and swearing.”

Fallback analogy: “It’s like I’m writing a story where the reader can make choices that change the narrative. But instead of a book, it’s an experience on a screen, and instead of just reading, people can interact with the story.”

For the Medical Professional Sibling

Don’t say: “I refactor legacy code and implement CI/CD pipelines for continuous deployment.”

Do say: “Similar to how you diagnose patients, I diagnose problems in computer systems. I look at symptoms, run tests, implement treatments, and monitor results.”

Fallback analogy: “Think of websites like living organisms. They have circulatory systems (data flow), nervous systems (user interactions), and immune systems (security). I make sure all these systems work together without crashing.”

For the Car Enthusiast Father/Uncle

Don’t say: “I’m implementing WebSockets for real-time data streaming.”

Do say: “Remember when you upgraded your car’s engine for better performance? I do the same thing, but for applications people use online. I make them faster, more reliable, and more fuel-efficient, so to speak.”

Fallback analogy: “Imagine if your car could reconfigure its dashboard based on who’s driving or what they’re trying to do. That’s what I build—interfaces that adapt to what the user needs at that moment.”

For the Financially-Minded Grandparent

Don’t say: “I optimize user acquisition funnels and implement analytics tracking.”

Do say: “I help businesses understand where they’re getting the best return on their digital investments by tracking how people use their online services.”

Fallback analogy: “It’s like I’m building a store where we can track exactly which aisle each customer walked down, which products they looked at, and why they decided to buy something or walk out. That information helps businesses make better decisions.”

For the Skeptical In-Law

Don’t say: “I leverage cloud-native architectures to scale applications horizontally.”

Do say: “I make sure that when millions of people try to use something online at the same time—like ordering pizza during the Super Bowl—the whole system doesn’t crash.”

Fallback analogy: “You know how frustrating it is when you’re stuck in traffic? I make sure digital traffic jams don’t happen, by building extra lanes exactly when and where they’re needed.”

The Universal Closer When All Else Fails

When their eyes glaze over despite your best efforts, simply say: “I solve problems using computers, and I get paid pretty well for it.”

Then quickly change the subject to something everyone can argue about instead, like politics or why your cousin’s kids are so poorly behaved.

Remember, the goal isn’t to make them fully understand—it’s to give them just enough information to nod approvingly before moving on to ask when you’re finally going to settle down and have kids.